Of something red and warmly given

Have you donated blood before? The last time I did, was on 15 July 1998! I was swept along by the "Give Blood, Save Lives" campaign or something similar of such slogan. And I remember it vividly, because I only managed to give slightly less than 400ml before I felt faint. And that almost 400ml trickled into the bag (which took a good half hour!), unlike others who filled up the 500ml bag in no time at all. The doctor and nurses immediately said enough after they had a look at my face which by then had turned quite pale. Even giving that little amount, I couldn't get up, and had to lie down for a good 45 minutes. Well, that was the first and last time I have ever donated blood, and it was during my pre-hypertensive days. Nowadays, due to the daily medication, am not entitled to donate blood.

Actually, I have always been apprehensive about needles poking me. I saw enough of it (well, not me, but others being poked) during my secondary school days as I was a member of the Malaysia Red Crescent Society, and helped out during one of the blood donation drive. I could barely look as the needle was inserted, and when I saw the blood gushing out into the bags, I was flabbergasted. And yes, I did cop a feel of the blood bag and it was surprising warm (to me anyway), but heck, the warmness was to be expected. After all, aren't all of us warm blooded beings?

The first time I was consciously aware of having a blood test, I saw the humongous needle and almost freaked out. The doctor reassured me that it wouldn't hurt, but who would believe the doctor after seeing the needle! Actually, it wasn't painful, just an initial pricking sensation as the sanitised needle punctured the skin and delved into the vein to draw out the required amount. But I didn't look in my moment of anxiety, turning away all through the process and even refused to see how much blood they took. After that, I made it a point never to look at the needles before a blood test and never to see the actual process of the insertion of needles and the withdrawal of blood.

However, today I did my blood test for a checkup required to purchase some insurance cover. As the matronly looking doctor was preparing for the "moment", I quickly looked away. The doctor chuckled, and I told her that I don't like needles. Somemore, after hearing that I don't like needles, she had the cheek to say:

Female Doctor (with her evil grin): Make a fist, and keep still. If I can't find the vein, I may have to prick you three or four times!

Me (thinking in my head!): What the *(&@#*!!!

Female Doctor (with her even more evil grin): And I am taking this opportunity to whack you, for never listening to me to lose weight and to exercise more! (and just as she said that, she whacked my hand a few times to find that elusive vein).

As though I wasn't feeling apprehensive enough, I had to hear that. But after the ordeal was over, I did steal a glance at the needle and the amount of blood taken, and I was like, "Wah! She took so much blood!". Somehow, the blood looked a lot darker, more like a deeper red than the one in this picture, but yes, I did see something like that little droplet at the end of the syringe.

I guess through it all, if I could donate blood, I think I would again, no matter my distaste for the needle. But I can't, so won't dwell on it too much. However, here's to hoping all would help in one way or another, to donate that little amount of blood for someone who may need it in desperate times. Give blood, save a life.

To spend or not to spend...

Been a while since I had my regular paper tosei, and since my vocal lesson time was swopped to an earlier slot of 10:00am, I thought I would indulge a little bit at 9:30am. Need the energy to sing muh, otherwise cannot last the entire class. Never knew singing can be tiring, eh? Need to work those abdominal muscles. But alas, not sure why I still don't have my six-pack!

However, what shocked me was that for a small glass of teh tarik and a cone shaped paper tosei (and I noticed that it has gotten to be a smaller portion or shape), the bill came up to RM4.20!!!

Me: HUH!?! Empat Ringgit Dua???
(translated: HUH!?! Four Ringgit and Twenty???)
Foreign Waiter: Ya! Ini (pointing at the paper tosei) Tiga Ringgit.
(translated: Ya! This (pointing at the paper tosei) is Three Ringgit.
Me: TIGA Ringgit??!! [almost shouting, but trying to keep my voice down as I saw some other customers looking my way]
(translated: THREE Ringgit??!!) [almost shouting, but trying to keep my voice down as I saw some other customers looking my way]

I duly handed him the money but was aghast at the escalating cost. Last time, as in 2 years ago, it cost RM1.50. Last year, it cost RM2.00, TODAY it cost RM3.00!!! My goodness!!! That's like a 100% increase in price since 2 years ago (and the portion has gotten smaller too!). And here I thought commodity prices have come down. :(

But when I think about it, I can sometimes go shopping, and buy a nice tie which cost RM90 (cheap! on sale muh!), and am not appalled about the cost, yet, when it comes to paper tosei, I baulk at the price. Is this then a case of "Penny Wise, Pound Foolish"? But then again, I don't buy a tie that often anyway, well, at least not as often as I could consume a nice portion of paper tosei, but the point is that I am more conscious of the little stuff as opposed to the bigger ticket items. Like for lunch, I would notice that certain outlets in the foodcourt tend to overcharge for a plate of mix rice, and I would boycott that shop, yet sometimes, I wouldn't think twice about "premium" items, especially when there is a sale going on.

I suppose it is the regularity of it all, since the spending on the smaller stuff are on a regular basis which can really add up over a period of time. But at the end of it all, the more fanciful cup of coffee, or that nicer looking shirt or tie going for a bargain, can also hit the wallet in the same way.

And when I hear about people holding two jobs to earn extra pocket money, I do feel a tad guilty. I guess I can only console myself that I also sing for various occassions and earn those little extra angpows to supplement my regular income. Not that it amounts to much, but hey, every little Ringgit helps to pay for the higher cost of paper tosei!!!, and my occassional shopping spree.

One! Two!... WHAT?

"Koooooom-Choom!"

That's the sound we make in Hakka when we were young playing rock-paper-scissors. The long drawn out "Kooooom" is like the pace of counting "1, 2", and a fast expelled "Choom!" will seal the game at "3" to show either a rock, a paper or a pair of scissors with the shape of the hand.

It's also used when trying to decide something without using the flip of a coin. And you know what, there are even competitions for this rock-paper-scissors thingy, and it is interesting to find out the history regarding this game. Can read more about it here.

Since I have been in West Malaysia for so long, I have heard various versions of the counting, most notably, "1, 2, Jus!". And the first time I had to "play" this game to decide on something, it went like this:

Me: Ok, ready yet?! (Me just about to go "koooom...")
Friend: Ok. ONE.... TWO....
Me: Wait! Wait! Ok, ONE... TWO.... and I kept silent, whilst my friend went...
Friend: JUS!!!

Thinking to myself "so different wan!", I showed PAPER, whilst my friend showed something peculiar. I was like... errr... something like this picture, but with the thumb pressed towards the fingers like the shape of a bird's head, without the painted bits of course.

Friend: I won!
Me: HUH?? What's THAT!
Friend: Bird'lah! Bird to TIOK your paper!
Me: NO SUCH THING!!!
Friend: GOT!
Me: It's either rock, paper or scissors! Where got bird wan!!!
Friend: GOT!
Me: All the while growing up in Sarawak, I have never come across BIRD!
Friend: Of course got BIRD!

Wah! Show me "bird" somemore by my friend who was female! Lucky not the middle finger type of bird! I was like, "Ciss!". West Malaysians ah, trying to con East Malaysians!

Me: Where got like that wan! Cheat!
Friend: You come from ulu-ulu, don't know anything!

Tsk! Tsk! What prompted this post? Well, I have been meaning to post this for a while, but kept forgetting. Suddenly, as I was waiting for my car to be serviced this morning, two young chinese kids, but conversing in English (about 6 and 5 I reckon) were seated next to me and they were playing "1, 2, JUS!". When I glanced over, one of the kid had his hand with the "BIRD" shape! "What the *&&*^*!". I wanted to correct them but held my tongue!

So, hence this post, and you know what? since coming back, I googled for "rock paper scissors", I managed lots of findings, but for "rock paper bird!"??? Nothing!! Now, thinking objectively, maybe the kids in west malaysia were corrupted by someone somewhere who thought it was difficult for kids to do the scissors shape and thought it easier for the bird shape to be made. And somehow, that variation came about through cultural distortion. Well, I will give them that at least, but for my HOKKIEN west malaysian friends who kept insisting it is "BIRD", I still think it is SCISSORS, not bird! The powers of brain washing whilst young...

Then again, researching rock-paper-scissors online, I understand that this game was originally invented by the Chinese! With my HOKKIEN chinese friends insisting they are right, perhaps I need to reconsider which culture has made the distortion. But hang on! I am also chinese what! But HAKKA instead. And all my HAKKA friends play the rock-paper-scissors version, never bird!

How ah??!

A hotpotch of worry

It's rare that I post something related to work, but today, the news in the financial markets, and in particular the US has been shocking. The collapse of Lehman Brothers, after 158 years in the making, and the acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America amounting to a staggering US$50 billion after only a purported 48 hours of negotiation simply boggles the mind.

Of course, financial markets are reeling with the effects, and one can only imagine what is next. As AIG, the world's largest insurance company scrambles to raise capital amidst a potential downgrade in credit ratings which will have serious knock-on repercussions, the sheer thought of how many more such stories will surface following the turmoil in housing and credit markets is pretty scary.

And you know what? Just a few years back, many financial trainers were teaching agents that there is minimal risk in fixed income, that the main risk lies with equity, which is sort of true in terms of price or market risk, but given the quantum leap in financial engineering and the development of the accounting standards to include marked-to-market of securities, both price and credit risk have become of extreme importance in the fixed income market. At least 3 years back, we have gone on roadshows around the country to educate agents on what is fixed income and that it is incorrect to associate fixed income with no or minimal risk.

The rise in any bubbles will one day be pricked. Amidst the hot sales of structured products these days, with many unfamiliar with the underlying risks and the hidden costs, the lure of high returns and capital protection seems too good to be true. Back testing of data shows wonderful historical returns, and though there are disclaimer clauses in the various leaflets or documents, it is usually mentioned that the past is no predictor of the future. But you may say that no matter what, the principle is protected? Well, it is only protected to the extent of the financial health and on-going concern of the the party or institution providing that guarantee (and usually at a cost I might add). Then again, I am in the insurance line, and the sale of insurance products depends on the certainty of payment, which will again depend on the well being of the company involved. Not that I am implying or speculating about any specific institution of course.

Yes, we have regulators and watch dogs, auditors and what nots, but really, risk appetite and risk controls depend on the human factor. At the end of the day, how one chooses to take on risk and what controls are put in place depend on the willingness to implement. However, such controls or lack of controls, are caused mainly by human resource contraints or issues.

Tomorrow, a few of us have a session with the regulator who requested for a presentation on our activities, our risk appetite, our controls, our monitoring programme and our reporting lines and oversight function, and to specifically dwell on communication within the organisation. I guess they are targeting the bigger institutions first to generally see the operational and financial controls in existence, before perhaps implementing such on the smaller market players.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I have sort of felt detached over the past year or so after hearing about writedowns and losses being incurred by various institutions, particularly in the US and the European markets. It is worrying to think how much of such exposure lies in the Asian markets. But today was an exception, I felt shock and horror over the Lehman news, maybe because the company I work for recently crossed its centennial mark. To have such history, and being one of the top players in the investment banking market to collapse sends shivers down my spine. Now, I personally don't know anyone in Lehman Brothers, but the sheer thought of the potential loss of jobs and income security by many following the credit markets crisis is scary indeed. Have they saved enough to ride out the bad times? For me, worrying is one thing, and being affected emotionally is another, but this time, I sort of feel both, which I cannot carry on brooding for long. Was quite caught up with the news, but concluded that I will focus on my little pond, or perhaps my little fish tank, to improve the operational matters, to look after the well being of the portfolios under my care, as well as the general well being of the staff in the team.

Just to digress a little, since this has been on my mind for a while, in our country, the various negative news on the political front and the injustice of various parties echo the sentiment of double standards and "a subtle persecution". As one ages, greater awareness abounds, and it is such that the understanding and the feeling of "hang on, that's not right!" permeates through the very air we breathe. Dare I draw parallels to the atrocities of the second world war? But that was a case of open persecution, whereas here, it is more a progressive splintering of ones values and pulling wool over one's eyes. Yet, this is the country I would call home.

Of one moon and another

A tale of immortality and revolution. Believe what you may, but in this modern society, the tradition is brought back to life via the plentiful mooncakes and lanterns which are aplenty during this period!

I recall an occassion so long ago, when I stayed over my grandaunty's place, and we were up late watching the moon and lighting some lanterns. Of course, back then, the lanterns we had were more traditional looking without some of the frills and shapes we find today.

I must say that most of us are so blessed to have received so many mooncakes, but sometimes the joy is in the sharing and eating, and of course also the giving! :) Had so many varieties, but my favourite remains the ever humble red bean mooncake (but then again, I also like the Yam mooncake without the yolk!). Simply yummy, although I must say there are some flavours out there which are simply divine. Think the best I had to date is from Shangs', in particular, the snow skin durian mooncake!!! What I find however, is that every year, prices of mooncakes simply escallate. In my line of work, truly blessed to have received quite a lot of boxes of mooncakes from various bankers which are duly shared.

I think I have eaten too many mooncakes already, but how to say "no" to the simply wonderful ones still waiting to be opened? Alas, destined never to lose weight....

psst - the two photos in this post were not taken by me, but nicked off the www.

A little birdie this way comes

Well, not quite. More of a trip to the birdpark in KL. Honestly, after being in KL for close to 13 years, I finally heard that there was a birdpark nearby. A few friends decided to have a day out to take some pictures, and I was asked whether I wanted to join. Heck! Why not? After all, it purportedly has the world's largest free-flight walk-in aviary.

The only problem was that it entailed waking up early on a Sunday morning to meet for some Dim Sum along Jalan Ipoh before heading to the birdpark. Entry price cost RM15 for locals (foreigners pay more), but if you are a Jusco member, with a membership card for verification purposes, there is a RM5 discount.

Upon reaching there, I saw that the place was quite popular with avid photographers, brandishing cameras with long lenses, etc. I made do with my steady digital Canon Ixus 960 IS, with a new 4G memory stick which I got for my birthday last month. After all, as a friend told me, in most cases, it is not the camera, but the cameraperson which matters. :)



Incidentally, there were also other things to see besides birds. Some long tailed primates were abound in certain zones, with nice scenery of cascading waterfalls and peaceful surroundings. Overall, it was quite a pleasant trip. Took just slighly over 600 shots that day, but only some were nice or decent enough to be displayed (posted in my facebook profile).



There were of course, the "cute" birds, with my friends trying to decide which were cuter, the little chicks or the little ducklings. Most said ducklings. What do you reckon? There were also predatory birds as well as a zone for flightless birds.



Quite a good day trip, and it made me realise that there are other things to do in KL besides shopping and eating. :)

Of one book and another

Got this meme from absolutginger last month, and only now I am attending to it. Actually, been meaning to post more often, but at times, totally no inspiration to write. Sometimes, totally tired out from the day and have to be in the right frame of mind, otherwise will be bitching away. Still, now seems to be a good time. :)

Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?
Yes actually, it was when I walked along one of the streets when I was studying abroad (initially thought it was in Cottingham (in Humberside), but come to think of it, I think it was earlier when I was still in Dover), browsing the various shops that I first picked up a book by Anne McCaffrey, entitled "Dragonflight". And this is the very cover (publication by Corgi) of the book that I bought second hand. It cost me 80 pence! At that time the exchange rate was about RM3.50 or so to the British Pound. And yes, I still have the book! It opened my eyes to a whole new realm of fantasy with dragons and magic, and later, the magical world of sword and sorcery!

What are some books you read as a child?
As a child, my parents encouraged me to read, and I read collections of various rhymes, Aesop's Fables, Enid Blyton (but somehow, don't remember much of this, guess it didn't make an impact on me), fairy tales (the likes of sleeping beauty, snow white, etc). And would you believe it, Archie's comics as well as other comics like Green Lantern, Batman, Spiderman, etc.

Oh!! oh!! Once a while, my mum would bring us to Kuching to India street, and there I would get my dose of Beano Annuals, Beezer Annnuals, and such! I think I still have some of these old collection back in Sarawak, dating back to the early 1980s.

What is your favourite genre?
It varies. I used to read trashy novels like, ahem.. "Chances", "Lucky", etc, and got on the bandwagon of Sidney Sheldon and Jeffrey Archer. Actually, some of these are still very good. However, my favourite genre is undoubtedly Fantasy! It is simply, the BEST!

Oh, incidentally, I like comic books as well, but I tend to read the collection types rather than wait for single releases. But then again, this is also partly fantasy, no?

Do you have a favourite novel?
No real favourite novel, but one which made an impression on me was "Legends" by David Gemmell. I guess if I have to say a favourite, it will be this. It brought everything to life, the characters, the story! My oh my, the essence of humanity, triumphant against all odds. The thing I remember most of it was the gates, and how as each gates fell (and each had a name!), the odds for survival diminished, yet the strength to persevere and fight to the very end made me cling to the very pages through various sleepness nights unable to let go. It was that good for me.

Where do you usually read?
Usually in bed, or on the sofa on a day when I just want to chill. Sometimes at a coffee joint waiting for friends who may be late.

When do you usually read?
I usually read before I nod off for the day (sometimes just a page or two), or when I am travelling. At times, it is nice just to have a relaxing day in during the holidays just to read, and before you know it, the day is gone.

Funny stories abound when I travel with friends and we all crash into one room. I would like read a page or two, conked out, snore here and there, wake up, read another page or two, and repeat the cycle.

Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?
Oh yes. I have a stack of books waiting for me to read. And I am currently reading these at the same time. More focused on Steven Erikson's Reaper's Gale though.














Do you read nonfiction in a different way or place than you read fiction?
Seldom read nonfiction. I used to be hooked on war stories when I was studying history. By my own interest, I saw pictures and read stories of the Vietnam War, The Last Emperor of China, etc. So during the trip to Ho Chi Minh City, an afternoon sojourn to the CuChi tunnels was indeed an eye opener, and brought many further insights to the stories I read. Crawling through a small section of the tunnels (widened for tourists), was enough to give me heart palpitations amidst a mild case of claustrophobia. Mind you, I am normally ok in confined places, but it was an experience indeed. I shudder to think of a whole city underground with a whole network of tunnels for warfare. Other than that, to be honest, not really my cup of tea.

Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?
When was studying, I bought some books second hand (cheap! cheap!) through the various car boot sales and the likes, and borrowed others from the library. Books were expensive, especially on a student budget.

Then when I began working, expenses piled up, so still couldn't affor to buy the books, so I rented some from the shops providing such business. Somehow, I have never been to the national library in Kuala Lumpur. Perhaps one day.

Nowadays, with the government's drive to inculcate a reading habit, book purchases have been given certain tax allowance. So, I buy them nowadays and claim to the max to reduce my taxes. Incidentally, comic book purchases are also tax deductible! :P

Do you keep most of the books you buy? If not, what do you do with them?
Yes, I keep the books I buy, and have two book cabinets already. Some of my books go missing, having been borrowed by friends or relatives and somehow, forgotten to be returned.

If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them? Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?
Now that is a big "If" considering my current singlehood status. But if I have children, I would share with them the various nursery rhymes, fairy tales, as well as the fables. So, yes, it would be the same ones I read as a child.

Do you keep a TBR (to be read) list?
I don't have a TBR list per se, but do have a stack of books waiting to be read. I tend to buy the books during sales and keep them aside pending my mood to read.

What’s next?
Well, some friends lent me Eoin Colfer's "Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony" as well as Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" which I have yet to read. I have read some of Eoin Colfer's works pertaining to Artemis Fowl which are quite interesting, but for these two, having gotten round to them yet in terms of priority to read.

What books would you like to reread?
At the moment, none as I have so many pending reading. But have reread most of David Gemmell's books and some of L.E. Modesitt Jr's books. Yeah, I have almost all of David Gemmell's books, and most of L.E. Modesitt Jr's fantasy books (he also writes SciFi).

Who are your favourite authors?
Undoubtedly David Gemmell tops the list with his Drenai Saga, but with his demise in 2006, the fantasy world lost a fantastic story teller. I also particularly like L.E. Modesitt Jr (his Recluce Saga is brilliant - I have the whole series! amongst some other of his books), Raymond E. Feist, and lately Steven Erikson.

Others I read include, Anne McCaffrey, R.A. Salvatore, Trudi Canavan, Robin Hobb, Terry Brooks, Janny Wurts, Lian Hearn, and quite a few others.


Pheww! So, what books do you read? :)