As one ages, these reunion dinners are a good time to catch up on family matters, but the feel is somehow different. Gone are the days of running around with other little cousins with nary a care in the world. Now, it’s more like catching up on events and various happenings, and noticing who is talking or in certain cases, not talking, to others. One would think that despite disagreements and differences, now is the best time for reconciliation, but at best, for some it is mutual tolerance just being in the same room with one another. Just as I commented to one of the cousin-in-law, seriously though, it is the children who make such events fun, to see the joy on their faces and the strengthening of our family ties, oblivious to some undercurrents at play. Some of the younger generations have grown, and some of my younger cousins are soon even approaching adulthood.
The noting of the passage of time is also not lost on the older generation. New lines can be observed in the facial make of certain family members. Some also, we do wonder and worry to an extent, when we see tiredness and age creeping as the years go by. Today, following a visitation to my grandaunty’s place, we saw four generations under the same roof. A true blessing indeed.
As it has happened for so many years going back as I can even recall, we continue to visit our oldest relative in Kuching, bearing suitable new year gifts and bedecked in new clothes (well, for some like me, the “almost” recent red shirt bought in one of the British India outlet still serves its purpose – considered almost new as I had only worn it during these festive occassions), to wish her good health, happiness and fortune, as well as all things good on the first day of the new year.
And you know what, most of my relatives know of my fondness for a certain local peanut filled kuih called “tee teao phan” in Hakka, including my grandaunty, and she specifically made some for me to eat despite her advanced age, and having to stay up all night to cook for the various hungry hordes descending on her doorsteps on the first day of the new year. A special plate of this kuih was kept aside for me just in case my other relatives consumed them all and I did not manage to arrive on time. I even managed to “ta pau” some home to Serian! Talk about special treatment!
And incidentally, she makes a brilliant “chilled drunken chicken” dish. Normally, I would stay away from this dish as I do not like the overbearing smell and taste of the rice wine, but hers is simply superb. At one stage, I have even asked and experimented to recreate the dish, but it was somehow different. As they say, I lack the “kung fu” necessary to recreate the masterpiece perfected by my grandaunty over the years. I guess it must be tiring for my grandaunty and my aunty (her daughter) to cook and prepare for so many family members, with one uncle and family setting a new record last year when they turned up at her doorsteps at 6:00am in the morning because they had a plane to catch departing not too long after. This year, I was told, the earliest family was at 7:30am. I certainly hope she gets some joy and love from seeing so many family members at this occasion. She did seem happy to see all of us, albeit a tad tired in her advanced age.And tomorrow? As my dad is the eldest uncle still in Sarawak, his younger siblings and their family, and my grandaunty and other close family friends will be coming over to my hometown to visit. My mum, as usual, is super busy preparing for the occasion, cooking up a storm that will even feed the whole Serian town. However, she has sort of catered for some food to ease her stress levels, and we are helping her out as much as we can. Yes, I have been tasked to make some delicious tasting char-siu sushis (with a dab or two of a special plum sauce - self praise is no praise? :P), as well as some crabstick sushis for my younger cousins, as they remembered and have specifically and repeatedly been asking for it ever since they tried and gobbled down the sushis last year.
If you don’t think a gathering like this is stressful on the host, try having to make sure that there will be enough food and drinks, as well as to have some entertainment to keep the children occupied less they run around the entire house, with some of us constantly worrying whether the young ones will get a bump or two knocking into some of the stuffs we have around the house. As it happened a few years back I think, when one of my younger nephews (my cousin’s son) ran right smack into one of my dad’s large antique vase. Incidentally, the vase was beyond help, but my nephew is still running around. And the noise! When two typical Hakka persons speak, it is like a shouting match. Just imagine having more than sixty at one gathering! So, stress? What stress! :) It is of course however, a pleasure indeed, seeing the many relatives getting together, as well as to renew family ties.
