Was having lunch today with a group of colleagues at the food court. Sometimes, when am not in the office, I like to destress and not think about work, but have this colleague who usually radiates negative energy, complaining about this and that, this person and that person. It gets tiresome after a while. There's so much negative energy that I feel like shutting off. Unfortunately I cant... :(
Usually, simply in one ear, and out the other is the best solution, but is hard when the colleague expects an answer or comment to the statements being made. Must think happy thoughts! Must think happy thoughts!
Have read this story about mood. What is your mood for the day, is actually what you want it to be. Wake up thanking God for another day and for the bountiful gifts which have been bestowed upon us. We condition our feelings for the day. Whether we want to be happy or sad, joyful or depressed. Think positive thoughts, and positive energy will radiate. It will lift the mood, the feel, and of course, the spirit. Channel positive comments, smile, and enjoy the day. May be hard at times, especially when there is too much work, compounded with office "issues", but must keep in mind to think positive. Only then can we be a joy to others.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Wedding Dinner
Just got back from an ex-colleague's wedding dinner held at the Chinese Restaurant in Wentworth Hotel. Was surprised that it was held on a weekday to begin at 8:30pm. Initially concerned on traffic, as it rained quite a bit earlier on, but was glad traffic around 7:45pm was smooth (luckily cos' of Ramadan period).
Didn't look forward to the food, but was pleasantly surprised. Quality was quite decent, but now feeling the after effects of MSG. My ex-colleague looked good in a light pink dress and was radiant during the dinner (not due to the booze!). Think there were slightly more than 10 tables with the bride hosting.
There was also another wedding "next door", with some very off-key Karaoke singing. Luckily my ex-colleague had the good grace of not having a karaoke session during the dinner. Otherwise, it will be like competing! As it was, the background music played was kind of loud.
All in all, it was a pleasant dinner although on a tiring week day. Reasonably good food, and was good to see the bride and groom together. Quite a matching pair. Here's to both the bride and groom - Y and W!!!
Didn't look forward to the food, but was pleasantly surprised. Quality was quite decent, but now feeling the after effects of MSG. My ex-colleague looked good in a light pink dress and was radiant during the dinner (not due to the booze!). Think there were slightly more than 10 tables with the bride hosting.
There was also another wedding "next door", with some very off-key Karaoke singing. Luckily my ex-colleague had the good grace of not having a karaoke session during the dinner. Otherwise, it will be like competing! As it was, the background music played was kind of loud.
All in all, it was a pleasant dinner although on a tiring week day. Reasonably good food, and was good to see the bride and groom together. Quite a matching pair. Here's to both the bride and groom - Y and W!!!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Green Eyed Monster
Came across this article – thought it was quite good.
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Dealing with jealousy - What are the ways?
Jealousy is an emotion that can be very damaging to ANY relationship. It can also prevent you from growing emotionally. It is not the same thing as envy. Jealousy wants what someone else has. Envy is when you don't want someone else to have what you don't have. If a person is jealous, they already have what is desired but they are afraid of losing it. When you are feeling jealous, you are undergoing an emotional combination of anger, dependency, hurt, and self doubt. When you spend time focusing on what you are not, this is a result of insecurity. Sometimes when we are afraid of losing something, we actually cause it to happen because of our actions and behaviors. All our thoughts and actions are centered around our fears and insecurities. This causes more fear and insecurity. These feelings cause other harmful feelings and may result in us indulging in self pity. What are some ways of dealing with jealousy?
· Develop independence.
We need to be sure we are not overly dependant on any one person. We need to focus on the good things we have and not on what we don't have.
· Focus on developing more confidence and attractiveness.
Sometimes something simple like getting our hair done or changing our style of clothing can help. Taking a course on self esteem or assertiveness is also beneficial.
· Be honest with yourself.
Sit down with paper and list things that are making you jealous. Look at it objectively. Are these things silly or trivial or are they really important?
· Communicate with the person who is the object of your jealousy.
Tell them your feelings. Is that person doing something that is causing you to be jealous? Letting them know can often help the problem. If this other person cares for you, they will work on changing the behavior that is adding to your jealousy. Being aware of your feelings can also help you cope better. Realize that jealousy shows your lack of self esteem and uncertainty of your own worth. Work on taking a really good self evaluation. This experience can be a wonderful learning opportunity for you. Work on communication with other people. Work on developing confidence.
· Study your rival.
Look closely at the person you are jealous about. What do you like and dislike about the person? Are his or her qualities beyond your abilities? Be sure you are not being unrealistic about that
person. Are you seeing things as they really are? Take control of your feelings. Terminate the relationship if nothing else seems to work. Take the time to concentrate on your own growth. Work at trying to understand and improve your relationship.
· Do not overreact.
Remember, most incidents are temporary so don't magnify what happened. Serious jealousy stems from a fear of loss, reputation, control of ourselves, our spouses, or relationships. Losing
control of our emotions and feelings will only make things worse.
Source: http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/dealing-with-jealousy-faq.htm
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Dealing with jealousy - What are the ways?
Jealousy is an emotion that can be very damaging to ANY relationship. It can also prevent you from growing emotionally. It is not the same thing as envy. Jealousy wants what someone else has. Envy is when you don't want someone else to have what you don't have. If a person is jealous, they already have what is desired but they are afraid of losing it. When you are feeling jealous, you are undergoing an emotional combination of anger, dependency, hurt, and self doubt. When you spend time focusing on what you are not, this is a result of insecurity. Sometimes when we are afraid of losing something, we actually cause it to happen because of our actions and behaviors. All our thoughts and actions are centered around our fears and insecurities. This causes more fear and insecurity. These feelings cause other harmful feelings and may result in us indulging in self pity. What are some ways of dealing with jealousy?
· Develop independence.
We need to be sure we are not overly dependant on any one person. We need to focus on the good things we have and not on what we don't have.
· Focus on developing more confidence and attractiveness.
Sometimes something simple like getting our hair done or changing our style of clothing can help. Taking a course on self esteem or assertiveness is also beneficial.
· Be honest with yourself.
Sit down with paper and list things that are making you jealous. Look at it objectively. Are these things silly or trivial or are they really important?
· Communicate with the person who is the object of your jealousy.
Tell them your feelings. Is that person doing something that is causing you to be jealous? Letting them know can often help the problem. If this other person cares for you, they will work on changing the behavior that is adding to your jealousy. Being aware of your feelings can also help you cope better. Realize that jealousy shows your lack of self esteem and uncertainty of your own worth. Work on taking a really good self evaluation. This experience can be a wonderful learning opportunity for you. Work on communication with other people. Work on developing confidence.
· Study your rival.
Look closely at the person you are jealous about. What do you like and dislike about the person? Are his or her qualities beyond your abilities? Be sure you are not being unrealistic about that
person. Are you seeing things as they really are? Take control of your feelings. Terminate the relationship if nothing else seems to work. Take the time to concentrate on your own growth. Work at trying to understand and improve your relationship.
· Do not overreact.
Remember, most incidents are temporary so don't magnify what happened. Serious jealousy stems from a fear of loss, reputation, control of ourselves, our spouses, or relationships. Losing
control of our emotions and feelings will only make things worse.
Source: http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/dealing-with-jealousy-faq.htm
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