Bright Blue Rose

Attended a concert earlier on today, and heard this song being sung. It caught my attention immediately with the beautiful melody and lyrics. Still trying to digest the lyrics. Bright Blue Rose by Jimmy McCarthy.



I skimmed across black water, without once submerging
Onto the banks of an urban morning
That hungers the first light, much much more
Than mountains ever do.
And she like a ghost beside me, goes down with the ease of a dolphin
And emerges unlearned, unshamed, unharmed
For she is the perfect creature, natural in every feature
And I am the geek with the alchemists' stone

Chorus

For all of you who must discover,
For all who seek to understand,
For having left the path of others
You find a very special hand

And it is a holy thing, and it is a precious time
And it is the only way
Forget-me-nots among the snow, it's always been and so it goes
To ponder his death and his life eternally

Chorus

For all of you who must discover
For all who seek to understand,
For having left the path of others
You find a very special hand

And it is a holy thing
And it is the only way
Forget-me-nots among the snow, it's always been and so it goes
To ponder his death and his life eternally

One bright blue rose outlives all those
Two thousand years and still it goes
To ponder his death and his life eternally

Eating Wind

As I felt the cool breeze on my face outside the car window, the contentment and joy of a 10-year old is quite hard to describe. The exhilaration, the thrill and more importantly, the opportunity to be out of the house.

Come to think of it now, the dangers of such act in the city is quite real, like sticking your head out in a moving automobile. Even more so now with the ever rampant crime which sometimes bring a shudder to one and all.

But as someone who had grown up in a small town, the unhurried driving pace, the smiling passer-bys, the cooling slow evening drive around the small town will certainly bring a feeling of happiness to any kid (or even pets!). Yes, I am back in my hometown now, and at times reminising about the good ol' carefree days bring a warm inner feeling. As I walked the narrow alleyway between the shophouses this morning, I couldn't help but smile as I imagined myself back as a kid, with my rollerskates on, daring myself and jumping across those ever so high and wide gaps between the drains, and trying hard not to run right smack into the wall. Actually, I don't think I ever did crash against the wall, but I recall more than one occassion when I was definitely flat out against the wall with my hands barely cushioning the impact. Yes, I did lose a tooth or two and even broke my collarbone when I was young, but that's another story altogether. :)

Seriously, the gaps are not that big, but as a wee lad, those gaps looked wider than the widest gaps! A real daredevil then, with rollerskates, and even a skateboard and a later progression to a BMX, but as one grows up, the urge to try and push the adrenaline factor has waned down tremendously. No, no rollercoaster rides, no bungee jumps, and definitely no skydiving nowadays. A more sedentary lifestyle is much prefered, with the exception of an occassional walk (especially to view a new place). :)

But I digressed. Eating wind as it is called, a direct translation of "Sik Fung", is something I miss. The joy of just being driven around with the windows down on a cool evening breeze has not been felt for a very very long time. As a matter of fact, I can't even remember when was the last time I hopped in a car and just drove aimlessly around to enjoy the sights. Sigh, city life is so much different from a small town, or even a kampung. Yes, I do count my blessings that my parents even had a car back then, and I had the opportunity to experience such joy. But the fact of the matter is, this is just one example of childhood happiness. Each of us grew up in a different environment, and each of us experienced the joy and heartache of life differently. And as I remind myself everyday, count your blessings.

Ashes

Today marks the beginning of Lent, with what is called Ash Wednesday. A period of fasting and repentance, and a time of abstinance. The essence of which is captured via this hymn:








********************
Yes, I Shall Arise

Antiphon:
Yes, I shall arise and return to my Father!

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul;
In you, O my God, I place all my trust.

Look down on me, have mercy O Lord;
Forgive me my sins, behold all my grief.

My heart and soul shall yearn for your face;
Be gracious to me and answer my plea.

Do not withhold your goodness from me;
O Lord, may your love be deep in my soul.

To you I pray; have pity on me;
My God, I have sinned against your great love.

Mercy I cry, O Lord, wash me clean;
And whiter than snow my spirit shall be.

Give me again the joy of your help;
Now open my lips, your praise I will sing.

Happy is he, forgiven by God;
His sins blotted out, his guilt is no more.

********************

But sometimes it is hard... hard to repent, hard to do good. What is a white lie? still a lie, and many more...

One step at a time...

25 random things about me

Following a tag from facebook, thought I would do another one here:

1) My confirmation name is John Vianney. He is the Patron Saint of Priests.
2) I do not like being forced to do things. If I would have liked to do it, I would have volunteered.
3) When someone forces me to do something, I would rebel and do the opposite.
4) I can simply chill with a good book and a cup of coffee or tea.
5) I need quietness when I am doing something serious or studying. I have never been able to study and listen to music at the same time.
6) I wish I could be more talkative. I suffer from the quiet person syndrome.
7) I have been told I don't express enough emotions, especially when I sing.
8) I used to collect a lot of things as a hobby. But now I focus on a few items only, that is, postcards and first day covers. I have a lot of them. Sometimes I wonder what I would do with them all.
9) My parents gave me a pair of rollerskates as a kid. I was very active with it and used to do leaps across the drains and stuff. Helped with my balancing, and when I finally tried ice-skating (first time in Telford, UK), I managed relatively well.
10) I think I slept walk a few times when I was a kid.
11) I rely too much on my sight-reading skills as I am kind of lazy to run through music before classes. Maybe that's why I don't put enough emotions when I sing in class. My teacher commented, "Like Kayu" (wooden) only.
12) I have forgotten the "ABC" song, but remember Twinkle-Twinkle little stars. Same tune, but different words. Tried singing it to my nephew today, and I fluffed the words!
13) I can't do summersaults. My body is not flexible.
14) I tried yoga once and nodded off in class. I think I may have snored away! (shy!). No more yoga for me.
15) I first encountered nutella in Germany. My friend's mum prepared hot buns for breakfast with nutella and it was simply fabulous!
16) I keep reminding myself "if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all". Maxim taken from the movie "Bambi". Watched it when I was young in the cinema. Sometimes hard to hold my tongue.
17) I don't think I have ever believed in santa claus when I was a kid. Yes, was definitely fascinated with the jingles, red nose, and all that happy things, but doubt if I ever believed he really existed.
18) My first penpal was from the USA, introduced by "The Big Blue Marble", a TV show I really liked to watch when young. I still have the picture my penpal sent.
19) I was enrolled in a Chinese school in Primary One, but refused to go to school after 1 week. My parents moved me to a Catholic School (but Malay batch).
20) I like to play with Legos, and other toys when young, and remembered my mum gave me a shell station legos set and my dad gave me a castle legos set when I was in Primary Two. They gave me the pressies I guess to comfort me as I had appendicitis.
21) I was very naughty when young, and used to run around alot.
22) Have never taken to football. I recall playing once as a goal keeper in primary school, and the ball went smack into my face! Never again!
23) Been told that I am too serious by half, and should lighten up occassionally.
24) I used to be addicted to coffee with four to five cups per day. Suffered withdrawal symptoms when I first weaned myself out of it in 1995. No longer addicted.
25) I don't get enough sleep during the weekdays, and usually catch up on my sleep during the weekends.

Forty Six days to Christmas!

It is forty six days to Christmas and the shopping malls are beginning to put up Christmas decorative stuff and goodies. Nope, they haven't started playing Christmas carols yet, but no doubt will probably begin soon.

As I was walking around Pavillion yesterday, I succumbed to the temptation of buying ornaments for my Christmas tree. I can tell you one thing for sure, the ornaments don't come cheap!, but I console myself monetary wise, that I had a gig the night before which earned me enough pocket money to splurge a little. :)

As I woke up this morning, was undecided whether to take the existing Christmas tree out of storage or decorate the pussy willow tree which is already in my living room. Ya, me being the usual indicisive self, FINALLY decided on decorating the pussy willow tree after a good time debating with myself. One thing for sure, I didn't set a theme, but got carried away yesterday buying the various new ornamental stuff. So, looked as though it was done in a slapdash manner, but I think for this year will leave it as it is. Yep, looked a bit like a minimalist approach without the usual greenery, and it sort of go with the overall oriental Christmas theme which I had in mind.

Have never thought of white ornaments, but it does lend itself a certain look. Usually, one would go for only red and gold combination or white and blue. But I went for the works!!! Egads!!! Must remember to have a colour theme next year!

Of course, at this time of the year, one would get carried away with the commercial aspect of the coming festive season, but I had a star or two to remind me of the significance of the celebration. I was even humming Christmas carols as I was putting the stuffs up! :)

Now, if you ask me why I decorate so early, I really don't know. After all, I have another forty six days to shop for other ornaments and can redo my colour theme if I have to. Watch this space ... :P

A passage of time

The beating of a heart, the yearning to be one. The longing for a part, for a time once lost. How close a person to get, how wonderful the moment spent. But time flutters its flowing wings, and lost those moments past.

Easily taken for granted, words sometimes does a wounding. Yet shared it cannot be, alone for pain to bear. Whither must I wander, a soul ever longing. Things for moments to cherish, yet only for a passage in time.

That fateful glance you ever did give, the searing touch you once gently did lay, upon the few precious instances, harbouring those ever infectious imprints. Alas, your yearning but now asunder be, and greatly needed for I, a wall insurmountable to build.

Perhaps in haste, a story too fast to tell. Perhaps a moment longer, a difference may be made. Yet the silent stillness of sound, ever do reverberate, to confirm those lost moments, of time and future past.

Of one childhood game and another

Following my previous post on paper, rock, SCISSORS!!!, it got me thinking about what other childhood games I played, especially coming from a Co-Ed school in a small town. I could literally list a couple, and wonder if most kids would still play these games in this day and age. In this technological age, most of these games would most probably be lost with the onset of playstation, etc. and parents' growing paranoia about the child's safety and well being. What? You never climbed trees? :P

1) Ohhhh PEK!
This can be a game of elimination or to find teams, where each kid would indicate with his or her palm down or palm upwards. In elimination, the one who is unique (i.e. sole upward palm or downward palm) in the group would be out. Sometimes gleefully out as the process can be used as the "shortest straw" method for undesirable task. For team selection, those who have upward palms would be in one team, and downward palms in another. All through the process of saying "Ohhh PEK". "Ohhh" is said whilst the palm is struck to the chest repeated, and "PEK" is said when showing the "hand". Recently learnt that in West Malaysia, this is also known as "Lat talilat tali tampom". But slight difference in that the palms are like interchanged upwards and downwards in front of everyone (almost like a wavy effect) while saying that phrase, and with "pom!", the selection is then made.

2) Lo Seng
I remember this used to be my favourite game whilst in Primary 1 and 2 (about age 7 and 8). We used the lines of the outdoor badminton court to play guard. This is a team game, where a captain is selected, who can travel up and down the badminton court lines, with other team mates only on the horizontal lines. The rival team will try to outmanoeuvre the guarding team without being touched, running within the court from one end to the other. Of course, when one is about 7 or 8, the court is quite big, and extending the arms out wide doesn't even cover much of the court to guard!

And yeah, I sweat like mad for this almost every recess, and had to stand outside the classroom to "cool down" before the teachers allowed me to re-enter the class. Of course, I wasn't the only one, and my gang members were all in the same boat! 2 years!!! Imagine that! :P

3) 5 stones
I have seen this game played with artificial stones. That is, triangular bags that have been filled with sago seeds or similar. However, in my childhood days, we used REAL stones. Of course, we picked the smaller ones so as not to hurt the handstoo much! To hear the genuine "ping" of the stones as they hit each other after being caught in the hand following a difficult combination was definitely a joy to anticipate.

I think this is traditionally a female game, but at that age, there is no gender discrimination. It's a game of throwing and catching the stones in the air with various combinations. Got to the point that there were genuine rivalries between the boys and girls as to see who were best with hand and eye coordination. This game was played I think between primary 4, 5 and 6 (but could be earlier).

4) Marbles
Now this was almost a competitive game, but my friends and I generally took it as a friendly match. We would place our marbles (literally, not figuratively) in a circle, and try to hit them with another marble in our hand to get them out of the circle. If the marble lands out, then it is the hitter's for the keeping. Another variation is to place the marble quite a distance away. Whoever was accurate enough to hit the marble would get to keep it.

5) Police and Thief

In primary school, this was one of the best games to let off those extra energy. Running and screaming whilst being chased. Once you (as the thief) are caught by being touched anypart of the body by the "police", you had to squat. Other thieves can rescue you by touching you and then you are free to run helter skelter screaming your lungs out being rechased. Think this game is also known as "catcher".

6) Others
There are just too many other games to list. But another is similar to this picture, called hopscotch. However, as a young kid, we used chalk to draw the lines on the floor, and used tied rubber bands as the marker to be thrown and hop on one leg on the various numbers. Can even "own" a specific numbered box once a person completes the whole series of numbers hopping on one leg.

What more can I say? Hide and Seek is also a perennial favourite, and really, I think at one point or other in each child's life, this game would have been played. Of course, there are other games like congkak, legos, paper aeroplanes, rounders, skareboarding, roller-skates, catching "lei hu" or small fishes at the "longkang"! (translated = drain), etc...

Oh! almost forgot to mention another game. Sort of like skipping rope but the rope is made of rubber bands interlocking to form a long chain. One has to "skip" across different heights. Not easy that, especially at that age, girls were generally taller than the boys. Again, gender rivalry was instilled (it is a Co-Ed school after all). I seriously wonder why we have been mentally conditioned as such, or is that a natural order of segregation between boys and girls to see who was better at what?

Still, I guess all these games allowed us to "exercise" to release those extra bursts of energy (which can seem unlimited at that age - imagine the screams as one would run around), and learn hand and eye coordination as a useful child development skill for the future, at least that is what I would like to think!

So, what sort of games did you play when you were growing up? Would an all girls' school involved such games also? But given the recent news on student bullying (girls intimidating other girls) it clearly shows the various levels of discipline (or lack of it) between the schools. Generally also, more apparent when comparison is made between East Malaysia (gentler folks) and West Malaysia (rougher folks). The degradation of social friendliness standards and the need to dominate is more apparent in the city as compared to a kampung or country life. Well, how about an all boys school? Besides the usual football (or soccer as the Americans would call it), I guess there would be a lot of fisticuffs to while away the time. No? :)

Of beings around us and beyond

"Angels", what a word. Used in many different context, be it spiritual beings attendant upon God, or even a kind, charming, and lovable person. Sometimes those who do good deeds upon us are also seen as "angels in disguise". This stain-glass picture depicts the angel at the empty tomb.

As a young kid, I have always been fascinated with angels. Looking at the glorious pictures or graphics in books (before the technological furtherance we see today - thus began the love affair with comic books), reading about them in certain passages of the bible (well, those few passages which I have ever read - you know, many Catholics don't read the bible enough, and I am generalising here, but yours truly is certainly one of them), and what more could I say when there's even an angel in the comic book X-men, who later become archangel! :P

In the general and biblical context, more info can be found here and here. When we read about the heavenly hosts, the seraphims and the cherubims, and even the four known archangels; Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, and Uriel (each with their own roles), it is fascinating to consider the constant struggle between good and evil.

Michael - Field commander for the army of God.
Gabriel - Messenger of God.
Raphael - Archangel who performs all manner of healing.
Uriel - Angel of Repentance, who "stands at the Gate of Eden with a fiery sword".

Though sometimes, if one is not careful, the four can be unintentionally mixed up with Raphael, Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Donatello! That shows the power of the telly!!!

And once a fantasy show touches upon angels, I am generally hooked! Caught the first two episodes of the latest Supernatural series and was initially apprehensive about watching (usually, I avoid these horror flicks like a plague - quivering as my imagination would go wild anytime of the day, and NIGHT!!! - and would catch glimpses of fleeting shadow at the corner of my eye!!!), but this caught my attention with the introduction of Castielle, supposedly a soldier or warrior angel. Think for this one, I will dispense with my usual apprehension and follow the series (for once!).

I have read many stories online about angels being with us, be it guardian angels or angels in human form, alleviating the pain and suffering of the various troubled souls. And many questions have been posed as to whether you see "an angel" in the eyes of those around you. Myself, I personally believe in guardian angels, and occassionally pray for protection and guidance when I am frightened or lost in more ways than one. A prayer learnt even as a young kid, remembered to this very day to provide me comfort. And once a while, a beautiful song is written and wonderfully sung, essentially encapsulating the longing most feel in seeking comfort:

To spend or not to spend...

Been a while since I had my regular paper tosei, and since my vocal lesson time was swopped to an earlier slot of 10:00am, I thought I would indulge a little bit at 9:30am. Need the energy to sing muh, otherwise cannot last the entire class. Never knew singing can be tiring, eh? Need to work those abdominal muscles. But alas, not sure why I still don't have my six-pack!

However, what shocked me was that for a small glass of teh tarik and a cone shaped paper tosei (and I noticed that it has gotten to be a smaller portion or shape), the bill came up to RM4.20!!!

Me: HUH!?! Empat Ringgit Dua???
(translated: HUH!?! Four Ringgit and Twenty???)
Foreign Waiter: Ya! Ini (pointing at the paper tosei) Tiga Ringgit.
(translated: Ya! This (pointing at the paper tosei) is Three Ringgit.
Me: TIGA Ringgit??!! [almost shouting, but trying to keep my voice down as I saw some other customers looking my way]
(translated: THREE Ringgit??!!) [almost shouting, but trying to keep my voice down as I saw some other customers looking my way]

I duly handed him the money but was aghast at the escalating cost. Last time, as in 2 years ago, it cost RM1.50. Last year, it cost RM2.00, TODAY it cost RM3.00!!! My goodness!!! That's like a 100% increase in price since 2 years ago (and the portion has gotten smaller too!). And here I thought commodity prices have come down. :(

But when I think about it, I can sometimes go shopping, and buy a nice tie which cost RM90 (cheap! on sale muh!), and am not appalled about the cost, yet, when it comes to paper tosei, I baulk at the price. Is this then a case of "Penny Wise, Pound Foolish"? But then again, I don't buy a tie that often anyway, well, at least not as often as I could consume a nice portion of paper tosei, but the point is that I am more conscious of the little stuff as opposed to the bigger ticket items. Like for lunch, I would notice that certain outlets in the foodcourt tend to overcharge for a plate of mix rice, and I would boycott that shop, yet sometimes, I wouldn't think twice about "premium" items, especially when there is a sale going on.

I suppose it is the regularity of it all, since the spending on the smaller stuff are on a regular basis which can really add up over a period of time. But at the end of it all, the more fanciful cup of coffee, or that nicer looking shirt or tie going for a bargain, can also hit the wallet in the same way.

And when I hear about people holding two jobs to earn extra pocket money, I do feel a tad guilty. I guess I can only console myself that I also sing for various occassions and earn those little extra angpows to supplement my regular income. Not that it amounts to much, but hey, every little Ringgit helps to pay for the higher cost of paper tosei!!!, and my occassional shopping spree.

Of one book and another

Got this meme from absolutginger last month, and only now I am attending to it. Actually, been meaning to post more often, but at times, totally no inspiration to write. Sometimes, totally tired out from the day and have to be in the right frame of mind, otherwise will be bitching away. Still, now seems to be a good time. :)

Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?
Yes actually, it was when I walked along one of the streets when I was studying abroad (initially thought it was in Cottingham (in Humberside), but come to think of it, I think it was earlier when I was still in Dover), browsing the various shops that I first picked up a book by Anne McCaffrey, entitled "Dragonflight". And this is the very cover (publication by Corgi) of the book that I bought second hand. It cost me 80 pence! At that time the exchange rate was about RM3.50 or so to the British Pound. And yes, I still have the book! It opened my eyes to a whole new realm of fantasy with dragons and magic, and later, the magical world of sword and sorcery!

What are some books you read as a child?
As a child, my parents encouraged me to read, and I read collections of various rhymes, Aesop's Fables, Enid Blyton (but somehow, don't remember much of this, guess it didn't make an impact on me), fairy tales (the likes of sleeping beauty, snow white, etc). And would you believe it, Archie's comics as well as other comics like Green Lantern, Batman, Spiderman, etc.

Oh!! oh!! Once a while, my mum would bring us to Kuching to India street, and there I would get my dose of Beano Annuals, Beezer Annnuals, and such! I think I still have some of these old collection back in Sarawak, dating back to the early 1980s.

What is your favourite genre?
It varies. I used to read trashy novels like, ahem.. "Chances", "Lucky", etc, and got on the bandwagon of Sidney Sheldon and Jeffrey Archer. Actually, some of these are still very good. However, my favourite genre is undoubtedly Fantasy! It is simply, the BEST!

Oh, incidentally, I like comic books as well, but I tend to read the collection types rather than wait for single releases. But then again, this is also partly fantasy, no?

Do you have a favourite novel?
No real favourite novel, but one which made an impression on me was "Legends" by David Gemmell. I guess if I have to say a favourite, it will be this. It brought everything to life, the characters, the story! My oh my, the essence of humanity, triumphant against all odds. The thing I remember most of it was the gates, and how as each gates fell (and each had a name!), the odds for survival diminished, yet the strength to persevere and fight to the very end made me cling to the very pages through various sleepness nights unable to let go. It was that good for me.

Where do you usually read?
Usually in bed, or on the sofa on a day when I just want to chill. Sometimes at a coffee joint waiting for friends who may be late.

When do you usually read?
I usually read before I nod off for the day (sometimes just a page or two), or when I am travelling. At times, it is nice just to have a relaxing day in during the holidays just to read, and before you know it, the day is gone.

Funny stories abound when I travel with friends and we all crash into one room. I would like read a page or two, conked out, snore here and there, wake up, read another page or two, and repeat the cycle.

Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?
Oh yes. I have a stack of books waiting for me to read. And I am currently reading these at the same time. More focused on Steven Erikson's Reaper's Gale though.














Do you read nonfiction in a different way or place than you read fiction?
Seldom read nonfiction. I used to be hooked on war stories when I was studying history. By my own interest, I saw pictures and read stories of the Vietnam War, The Last Emperor of China, etc. So during the trip to Ho Chi Minh City, an afternoon sojourn to the CuChi tunnels was indeed an eye opener, and brought many further insights to the stories I read. Crawling through a small section of the tunnels (widened for tourists), was enough to give me heart palpitations amidst a mild case of claustrophobia. Mind you, I am normally ok in confined places, but it was an experience indeed. I shudder to think of a whole city underground with a whole network of tunnels for warfare. Other than that, to be honest, not really my cup of tea.

Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?
When was studying, I bought some books second hand (cheap! cheap!) through the various car boot sales and the likes, and borrowed others from the library. Books were expensive, especially on a student budget.

Then when I began working, expenses piled up, so still couldn't affor to buy the books, so I rented some from the shops providing such business. Somehow, I have never been to the national library in Kuala Lumpur. Perhaps one day.

Nowadays, with the government's drive to inculcate a reading habit, book purchases have been given certain tax allowance. So, I buy them nowadays and claim to the max to reduce my taxes. Incidentally, comic book purchases are also tax deductible! :P

Do you keep most of the books you buy? If not, what do you do with them?
Yes, I keep the books I buy, and have two book cabinets already. Some of my books go missing, having been borrowed by friends or relatives and somehow, forgotten to be returned.

If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them? Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?
Now that is a big "If" considering my current singlehood status. But if I have children, I would share with them the various nursery rhymes, fairy tales, as well as the fables. So, yes, it would be the same ones I read as a child.

Do you keep a TBR (to be read) list?
I don't have a TBR list per se, but do have a stack of books waiting to be read. I tend to buy the books during sales and keep them aside pending my mood to read.

What’s next?
Well, some friends lent me Eoin Colfer's "Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony" as well as Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" which I have yet to read. I have read some of Eoin Colfer's works pertaining to Artemis Fowl which are quite interesting, but for these two, having gotten round to them yet in terms of priority to read.

What books would you like to reread?
At the moment, none as I have so many pending reading. But have reread most of David Gemmell's books and some of L.E. Modesitt Jr's books. Yeah, I have almost all of David Gemmell's books, and most of L.E. Modesitt Jr's fantasy books (he also writes SciFi).

Who are your favourite authors?
Undoubtedly David Gemmell tops the list with his Drenai Saga, but with his demise in 2006, the fantasy world lost a fantastic story teller. I also particularly like L.E. Modesitt Jr (his Recluce Saga is brilliant - I have the whole series! amongst some other of his books), Raymond E. Feist, and lately Steven Erikson.

Others I read include, Anne McCaffrey, R.A. Salvatore, Trudi Canavan, Robin Hobb, Terry Brooks, Janny Wurts, Lian Hearn, and quite a few others.


Pheww! So, what books do you read? :)

Of one quiz and another

Took an online quiz recently, regarding "What Musical Instrument Are You"? And my result?

You are very conservative around people you don't know, but if you are comfortable in a situation you REALLY know how to let loose. You consider your intelligence to be your greatest asset and are not afraid to show that to other people. This can make you come off as somewhat 'stuck-up'; but let's face it....you do think you're better than everyone else. You have a flair for sophistication and can be a really great party host. You tend to over analyze your physical appearance and can be a bit TOO organized at times.

Somehow, there's a semblance of truth in there somewhere... :)
But why a flute? I tried once but simply can't blow a single note out of it. Much prefer the Sax...

Of one tie and another

Wore a new tie to work today, a plain purple-grey tie. My colleagues said it matched my shirt very well. And some even asked if I was wearing a new shirt, but no, only the second time I have worn this shirt. I guess it is out of my norm as I typically wear plain coloured shirts, but non white (fattening).

Today, I wore a white shirt, with subtle stripes of purplish red, light blue, and navy blue. So, I guess it was striking enough, and very corporate at that. Another colleague said I look more mature and have the "don't mess with me" kind of look when I wear this shirt. Well, could also be because of my usual "black face" look, but then again, was in a better mood today at work compared to yesterday.

What's the point of what I want to say? Well, the tie I wore today came with a story. Was shopping for a few new work shirts one day (to change my wardrobe during the christmas sale period) and decided to get some plain coloured ties to go with the new shirts I just purchased at the same time. As I was browsing through the selections, I couldn't decide between two colours, either a purple tie or a purple grey tie. As I stood there for a good five minutes internally having a heated debate as to which tie goes better with my new shirt, a sweet young thing walked past me, pointed at the purple grey tie, beamed me her sweetest smile, and said "this one"! HA! So, there you go. That's the story of my purple grey tie. Incidentally, I didn't manage to get her phone number...

But seriously though, why use a neck tie at all (besides looking all smart and proper). As I commented on the Chinese's preoccupation with signs and symbols, it is like putting a noose around one's neck every day. Shishh... But then again, the influence of western culture (or should I say, the subjugation of the eastern culture by the west) does play a big part. You don't see everyday, regular office folks attired in cheongsams and other oriental motifs now, do you. Incidentally, what's the male equivalent of cheongsam? Cheongnam?

Then again, I have over 30 neck ties (one or two dating back to pre historic days) of various designs (almost one for every work shirt neatly ironed, lined up, and ready to wear in my wardrobe). And no, I don't iron my own shirts... :)

Forget Not

Amidst the clangs and the thumpety thumps,
Of youth and age, and growth are sung;
Mirrored there and here a passage of time,
But one still the same, yet different be chimed.

Of childhood memories and the rebellious years,
of travels and studies, and experiences galore.
Across the seas a distance did make,
and plenty besides, of friends and more.

Now how the line of age appears,
from tender years to current cheer.
Forgot not the echoes of time be sung,
Forward Ho!, the journey's yet begun.

2nd Year Anniversary!

Yay! My blog is officially two years old!!!
Wow, time certainly flies!!!

Happy Birthday to ..... zingptzpzz,
Happy Birthday to ..... zingptzpzz,
Happy Birthday to ..... zingptzpzz,
Happy Birthday to ..... zingptzpzz!!

Fire! Fire!

Tragedy struck. Woke up Thursday morning, and received news that there was a fire which broke out in my hometown in Serian. 14 shophouses were razed to the ground within an hour. God be thank, that there were no casulties. A few night revellers raised the alarm as they saw the fire, which spread very quickly. However, many lost their belongings as well as their livelihoods.

You know, when you read about these kind of stories in the newspapers, it fascinates to an extent, but when it happens to someplace and to people you know, it bears great sympathy and sadness.

I was brought up along the same row of shops. Mine was situated at the middle of the third row of shops, and the fire razed "only" the first two row of shops. The third row was spared the hungry blaze of the fiery flames, just in the nick of time. So many memories as a kid, and to hear the tragic news affecting past neighbours, it is shocking indeed.

Note, the three pictures posted here are not taken from "The Star", but received via emails.

Extracted from http://www.thestar.com.my/:

Thursday 14 June 2007
Fire destroys 14 shophouses
By JACK WONG

KUCHING: A pre-dawn fire destroyed 14 wooden shophouses in Serian town, about 65km from here.

The blaze, which broke out at about 3am on Thursday, gutted the trading premises of 27 companies housed in the two double-storey blocks.

The wooden buildings were built in the 1930's. The fire was the worst that had hit the town along the Pan Borneo highway. Two other fires in 1974 and 1995 destroyed fewer shops.

Shops that went up in smoke in Thursday's fire include those trading in sundry goods, telecommunication products and accessories as well as sports wears. Also destroyed was a coffeeshop, a barbar shop and a shop which sold shotgun catridges.

There were no casualities.

Firemen took an hour to control the blaze and prevented it from spreading to adjacent blocks of wooden buildings. According to eye-witnesses, families living on the upper floors of the affected shops ran for safety after they were alerted by night traders nearby.

Serian district officer Sindie Muleng said a relief committee had been set up to provide various assistance, including providing food for a food and some cash to the fire victims. All the victims are temporarily putting up with their relatives,'' he told reporters after meeting the victims. Sindie said the relevant authorities would find a site for the affected companies to carry out their trade.

Serian criminal investigation department (CID) chief Asst Supt Suhali Solek said police were investigating the cause of the fire, which was reported to have started from the corner coffeeshop. He advised companies operating in wooden shophouses to take extra precautions, and to check on the wirings of their premises.

Of things that can go wrong, and does

Today was not a good day for me. It started bad, salvaged somewhat, and ended bad. Was initially disinclined to blog about it, but somehow, I do not want to let it fester within me, and make me continue to be unhappy. I hope writing it down will somehow lessen my negative feelings contained within me, so that I can achieve a calmer self.

I had a cup of coffee late last night, and sort of wanted to test whether my system could sustain the intake, and sleep immediately. But no, what I could have done previously, I can’t do anymore. A cup of coffee before sleeping does keep me awake at night.

So, it began with me catching only about four hours sleep at best, and left for work 15 minutes later than normal. Of course, traffic would be heavier, and the federal highway is well known for its congestion. At least the traffic was moving, although at a “move, stop, move, stop” kind of rhythm at certain stretches. And would you know it? At one of the “stop”s, a lorry had to hit my car from the back. Don’t really want to go into anymore details, but luckily, my car doesn’t look damage, but the boot cannot open. The spare wheel at the back of my car sort of absorbed the impact and protected the back lights and stuff from being damaged. There is a dent though from the spare wheel being forcibly knocked, and somehow must have jammed the clasp to open the car boot. But thank goodness, no serious damage to persons.

At this point, I was troubled. What a rotten way to start the day, and I had to calm myself down. Seriously, it was an accident, and definitely not intentionally. As a good friend put it, somehow, no matter how careful you drive, other people’s recklessness or carelessness somehow will also affect you.

It was a busy day at work, with many reports due and various interruptions to solve ad hoc issues. Lunch break was shortened due to meetings (although I still took slightly more than the normal 1 hour timeframe), and yes, I did bitch about the accident to my colleagues, but I wasn’t angry. Just have to deal with it, get it fixed, and move on.

The day progressed, my mood got better. Actually, I was scheduled to go to 1U after work to meet a friend for dinner and then catch a movie “Curse of the Golden Flower”. I was initially surprised that my friend was willing to watch the show after hearing negative reviews of the show, but he did say he was bringing a female friend along. And sometime during the day, somehow, hints emerged that he purposely wanted to introduce me to this girl. Ok, I am game. His intentions were to nobly suffer through the movie not of his choice so that me, as his good friend, may get to know his other friend, with hope that we would click. Now, I have nothing against this, as my intention was just to have a good time.

So, just as I was about to leave the office at 5:20pm to meet my friend as scheduled at 6:30pm at 1U, my boss’s secretary who was compiling the reports, asked me “where is agenda 8?” which was a proposal I helped my lady boss do, and was like due the day before. Damn! Have to hunt the paper to see which boss hasn’t signed, and lo and behold, it was in the big boss’s room right in front of his desk, but he had other things stacked on top that he didn’t notice it until I asked. BUGGER!!!

Calm down, there’s still time! Was planning to go via Penchala Link from Jalan Ampang, and tried a route which was supposedly shorter, but alas, I missed a turning, and had to do a major, and I mean MAJOR detour. SHIT! Couldn’t it get any worse? And in situations like these, yes, it does. One thing my friends know about me is that I am very particular about time keeping, and I detest being late, and don’t like others being late too, but have somewhat softened my stance on this. Hey! Things out of our control can happen, so some understanding goes a long way.

But wait a minute, my hp rang when I was unsettled and unsure of directions, and the first thing I heard was, “Where are you? Why are you not in the office?”. SHIT! Work related call from a banker asking about something, but nothing major. OK. That didn’t set me off, just unsettled me a bit more, wondering where the unfamiliar highway was leading me, but later more or less found myself heading in the correct direction.

Later, about 10 minutes before 6:30pm, my friend called me asking me where I was. “Nearly there, nearly there!”, as I was just approaching 1U. He doubted my ability to get there by 6:30pm and wanted to change our meeting venue to the dinner place which I had no clue where. I asked him to wait a bit as I had no clue where the eatery was in 1U, but he initially refused as he promised to meet his friend shortly after 6:30pm and wanted to keep that appointment. I got a bit pissed and my tone of voice must have conveyed my sentiments.

Yes, I was probably going to be late, and will be later still having to search for this elusive dinner place, but it dawned on my friend that I may just not turn up, and ruin his matchmaking plans. So he waited, and yes, with my mood, I did contemplate just driving home or go somewhere else entirely. At the end, I was one miserable minute late.

So, on we went for dinner, and his friend only turned up about 5 to 10 minutes after we sat down. Truth be told, I enjoyed the dinner. Had good conversation, and the girl was friendly, easy to talk to, etc.

Later, the three of us went for movie, and he intentionally make the girl sit between us, which was fine by me. For the movie, after hearing a lot of negative news about it, I was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed it. What spoilt it for me a bit was someone else sitting close by who talked a bit here and there during the show which was very disruptive. Even at the end of the movie, as we were walking about, I heard comments like “that was the stupidiest show”. I couldn’t disagree more, but that’s neither here nor there, suffice to say that amidst all the grandeur and opulence, all is not well. Yet, at the core, love is what sustains and love is what will forgive the mistakes, but beware to those that are not loved. I think a lot of people miss this message, and see the film superficially amidst all the jiggling boobs and what nots.

However, the worse feeling I had was when we were leaving. I would have thought my friend knew me well enough that I do not like to be pressured to do things. All in my own time, yet, creating opportunities for me to be alone with his friend at this very first meeting, to me, is not on. Suggesting outright that I walk his friend back to her car alone may not sound strange to him, but certainly does to me, and created an uncomfortable situation. I suggested going together. The worse thing was, the girl was smart, and I think knew what my friend was trying to do, and decided to just leave on her own. I felt absolutely terrible, and tried to tell my friend, but he just walked off. Talk about like talking on the phone to someone, and that someone slams down the phone on you. It is literally akin to that, and no, I was definitely not pleased. What a way to spoil what could have been a very good ending to an evening.

Sometimes, I just wonder:
1. Did my friend inform the girl that he was trying to match make her?
2. Did my friend take into account our feelings into all these?
3. How would you feel if you were the girl, and meeting someone for the first time, and your mutual friend asked “that stranger” to walk you back to you car?

Yes, I applaud my friend for taking the initiative to try to “set us up”, but how blatant can it be? Maybe I go by different rules, but no, I do not appreciate such awkward circumstances.

After all these times, my close friends should know me better than this, and that I do not appreciate being put into “difficult” circumstances, and no, I do not like to be “forced” to do things. The more it is being forced, the more my nature rebels against it, and the more I don’t want to do it.

And yes, there was another time when THREE of my friends ganged up on me to “force’ me to do something with ever so flowery words, and as though I was dim witted to be unaware of what they were trying to do. In that instance, I relented but was literally seething inside. I have mentioned this before, but the message does not seem to be digested by my friends. Either that, or it had been literally digested and gone out their nether regions as unimportant. After all, they are doing what they think best for me, without considering my feelings into the equation. Sigh…

Here I am, trying to calm my troubled self as I write this, and am sort of glad the day is almost over. Let tomorrow be another day, and I am not here to hold grudges. I am also not looking for an apology from my friend as I understand his motive, but hope he apologises to the girl he put into such an uncomfortable circumstance. She didn’t deserve such treatment. Not that I do, mind you, but am still trying to learn to be more forgiving.